Still in my email inbox for months, and still makes me laugh...

How Many Riders Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
ENDURANCE RIDER: Light bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horse's pulse / respiration / hydration levels to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb. Um, any chance that the light bulb could assist me in my conditioning regimen.....

DRESSAGE QUEEN: Me! Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!

CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN: These things can not be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

EVENTER: Hmm, as soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that large stone wall (whilst riding Hell For Leather cross country) I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It will put hair on your chest. Only prissy Dressage Queens require lights, anyway.

SHOW JUMPER: Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my ass. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.

NATURAL HORSEMAN You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" (video available at $99.00 on my Website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer" designed by me - $99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get video thrown in) will behave as all good light bulbs should.

That was good.. don't know many dressage people, so that's an inside part. But I think I am still king!

I have a few to add, just found it on another forum!

WESTERN PLEASURE RIDERS: Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to
have light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best and
so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so
smooth and sparkly and oh, my diamond studs have to flash in the
light, you know, so oh, someone has to fix it. Oh, maybe you without
all the silver on your saddle, obviously you can't ride, you can do
it

BACKYARD HORSEMAN: Do I have to do everything??!! Oh yeah, I do, don't
I? I'll get to it as soon as I'm done mucking stalls, cleaning and
filling the troughs, cleaning and filling the water buckets, stacking
my hay, setting up for night feeding, cleaning my tack, picking out
manure from the paddock, brushing and exercising the horses, and
whatever else needs to be done.

HUNTER RIDER: Well, I'm waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how
but he's changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.

this was so funny that i sent it along to another forum...thanks