HOW MANY HORSMEN DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
.
WESTERN PLEASURE RIDERS: Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to
have light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best and
so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so
smooth and sparkly and oh, my diamond studs have to flash in the
light, you know, so, oh, someone has to fix it. Oh, maybe you without
all the silver on your saddle, obviously you can't ride, you can do
it.
.
ENDURANCE RIDER: Light bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my
horse's pulse/respiration/ hydration levels down to respectable
levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can
even think about changing a light bulb.
.
DRESSAGE QUEEN: Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't
possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change
it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very
thought!
.
CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN: These things cannot be rushed, but must be
approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the
principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light
bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a
shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when
changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of
classical light bulb changing.
.
EVENTERS: Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after
falling off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for
Leather cross country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the
dark. It'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require
lights, anyway.
.
SHOW JUMPER: Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when
the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my butt. Why, when I
release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.
.
NATURAL HORSEMAN: You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that
it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics"
(video set available at $179.00 on my Website). Once you have done
this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light
bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing
from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer") designed by me - $99.00
each, for extra $49.99 you get a introductory video thrown in) will
behave as all good light bulbs should.
.
HUNTER RIDER: Well, I'm waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how
but he's changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.
.
BACKYARD HORSEMAN: Do I have to do everything?? !! Oh yeah, I do,
don't I? I'll get to it as soon as I'm done mucking stalls, cleaning
and filling the tub, cleaning and filling the water buckets, stacking
my hay, setting up for night feeding, cleaning my tack, picking out
manure from the paddock, brushing and exercising the horses, and
whatever else needs to be done.
.
.
.
HOW MANY HORSES DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
.
THOROUGHBRED: Who ME?? Do WHAT? I'm scared of light bulbs! I'm outta
here!
.
ARABIAN: Someone else do it. It might get my silky mane dirty and
besides, who's gonna read me the instructions?
.
QUARTER HORSE: OK; But put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me which
one you want
.
MOUNTAIN HORSE: Oh for Pete's Sake, give me the damn bulb and let's
be done with it.
.
SHETLAND: Give it to me. I'll kill it and we won't have to worry
about it anymore.
.
FRIESIAN: I would, but I can't see where I'm going from behind all
this mane
.
BELGIAN: Put the Shetland on my back, maybe he can reach it then.
.
WARMBLOOD: Is the 2nd Level Instruction Packet in English? Doesn't
anyone realize that I was sold for $75K as a yearling, but only
because my hocks are bad, otherwise I would be worth $100K? I am NOT
changing lightbulbs. Make the thoroughbred get back here and do it.
.
MORGAN: Me! Me! Me! Pleeease let me! I wanna do it! I'm gonna do it!
I know how, really I do! Just watch! My parole officer said it's
okay, really! And when we're done we can go over to the neighbors and
chase their cats!
.
APPALOOSA: Ya'll are a bunch of losers. We don't need to change the
lightbulb, I ain't scared of the dark. And someone make that damn
Morgan stop jumping up and down before I double barrel him.
.
HAFLINGER: That thing I ate was a lightbulb?


Cant take the credit for it though, stole it from a yahoo group I belong too. But remebered the good jokes here and thought to share.

I can relate to a couple of those RPETRACEK,

Thanks for sharing that, I needed a smile today. They stole my truck and we got it back it was only a couple miles away from our place.

Oh well it is back and not much damage.

See ya.

CD

ROTFLOL Those are great!! Needed a good laugh or few. But they left out the Western Trail Rider, a much different breed than "Pleasure." Happy trails .. . .